Does God like racquetball?

“If she has defiled herself in being unfaithful to her husband, when she drinks the water that delivers a curse, it will enter her body and cause acute pain; her belly will swell and her womb shrivel. She will be cursed among her people. But if she has not defiled herself and is innocent of impurity, her name will be cleared and she will be able to have children.” Numbers 5

Back in the day, if a husband thought that his wife was cheating he would bring her to the temple and find out the truth through a system of drinking water. The priest would curse some water and then have the accused women drink the water. If she had an affair than that cursed water would make her barren for the rest of her life. The Bible says, “Her womb will shrivel up”. If she was innocent than nothing would happen when she consumed the water. Kind of a bizarre way of testing to see if someone is lying or not. An old school lie detector you could say.

My friends and I like to play racquetball from time to time. Sometimes the games can get pretty heated. And there will be moments while playing, because there is no ref on the court that a call maybe challenged. One party says “You just committed a foul”, while the other party will say “NO, I don’t think so”. And then some more bantering will take place, and well, you all know the drill.

So we came up with a system. We decided that when this scenario plays itself out during the game that the person making the call would be tested. We call this the, “Leaving it up to the racquetball God’s to decide if you are right or wrong” method. If the person accused of committing said foul actually did commit the foul, than the next point would be lost during the play of the game. But if the accuser losses the next point than we say “the racquetball God’s have spoken” and move on.

I guess what I am suggesting that we do from now on whenever we disagree on a call is walk over to the drinking fountain and both take a drink. And then study one another’s reaction to the water. Heck, I’m always up for new reffing methods. At least it would be more Biblical.

My newest adventure…

Hey all, just wanted to let you know that I have a new blog that I recently started.

This blog (finding faith and feeling free, the one that you are looking at now) will be about my journey as I read through the Bible this year, while the new one that I just started will be a little bit more day to day happenings in family, job…life. Check it out here, www.anthonyhoisington.blogspot.com

Thanks…

Godenomics!

“Take a census of all the men twenty years old and older who are able to go to war…here is the final tabulation: 603,550.” Numbers 1:2-46

Yes I am now headlong into the book of Numbers.  The fourth book in the Bible.  And I have to say that it’s sort of well challenging.  I say challenging because of the amount of information that is recorded in this book.  And there are times that I am not sure what I need to commit all of it to memory.  It’s like sitting in class listening to the professor spill his knowledge to you and wondering what is actually going to be on the test.  That can get a little tiring.  But anyways.  Here are two things that I extracted so far…

1. God conducted a war draft.  I had no idea that God was for the draft.  I not sure politically where that would put God, but it’s kind of interesting.  Does that mean that God is for war?  That is not an answer that I am going to give, not here anyways.  But we see in the first few chapters of Numbers what would seem to be the first ever recorded draft.

Interesting…

On a more less war like note,

2. People who go to a small churches (and I do…thursdays) or maybe have maintained a certain nucleus of people over a long period of time,  often think that the mega churches are all about numbers.  I too have fallen prey to this line of thinking from time to time, (usually when in my faith, I am a little comfortable and a lot complacent ).  Part of this argument, maybe more toward the root of the argument is…jealousy.  There churches have stopped growing, stopped being relevant and therefor to no ones practical dismay have ceased to grow.  And have had to stand by and watch other churches pick up the ball where they dropped it. We can argue all day about whether God would want our churches overflowing with people, and said in that way would seem like a no brainer, but the reality is, God wrote a book all about well…Numbers.

I have heard this said a hundred times, God does care about numbers because every number is a person.  Someones child,mother, father,grandparent or friend.
This rereading of Numbers has helped me to again focus more intently on “the numbers”.  For instance,  Thursdays last night had over a hundred attenders!  That’s amazing!  And I have to think that that God was up in heaven counting, taking a roll call, pulling the misguided, the broken and the weak all together in one room. For a few hours.   To arm up, to wage war against life, and all that comes with it.  To be prepared for battle.

I guess you could say we were part of a draft?

How do I trust a seemingly untrustworthy God?

My wife and I have been on a fairly crazy roller coaster ride that past few months. And I hate roller coasters with a passion. All they do is make me sick and feel like I am going to die at any moment. A feeling that I have grown uncomfortable with the older I get. So why does it seem that God allows us to ride the rides that make us feel a bit uncomfortable and a lot confused? It almost feels like God doesn’t in fact love us at all.

Now I have to warn you up front, there is not going to be a happy ending to this blog. At least not at this point in my journey. The only thing that I can hope to share is some suggestions as to why I am struggling to trust God, but then again nothing that I myself am really satisfied with or even for that matter understand.

We lost our first baby to a miscarriage a few months back, and with that loss a whole lot of trust in a loving, caring God. I have asked God why he would hurt me like this? But what really pisses me off is that God has hurt my wife. Ok some would say that God has not hurt her directly, but what is worse (a) a God that doesn’t hurt us directly or (b) a God who seems to just stand by and watch us get hurt? He is God for crying out loud! He can prevent anything from happening! At least I thought he could.

On the journey I have been taking through the Bible I came across this story in Leviticus 10…1 Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the LORD, contrary to his command. 2 So fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD. 3 Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the LORD spoke of when he said:
” ‘Among those who approach me
I will show myself holy;
in the sight of all the people
I will be honored.’ “
Aaron remained silent.

What a heartless God! I mean God is supposed to be merciful, gracious and loving. Yet it appears that in this passage God is not painted with the same brushes and strokes I have seen before. He killed two of Aaron’ s sons because they messed up some sacrifice ritual. Where is the love that God has for his creation? It seems to be absent. I mean God could have easily made them sick for a week or severed a limb. But to kill and destroy, seems overboard and unlike the God I serve.

But that’s just it isn’t it? The God I serve can’t really be put in a box. Or be painted in such a way that I am always going to be able to recognize. Because God is, I believe, loving, gracious, merciful etc…but also very, very, scary. I hate serving a God, my Father, and being scarred of Him. I don’t fully understand what it means to be afraid to trust God. I know what it’s like to trust other humans. But God? That seems overwhelming and out of control. Out of my control.

I am making this statement as part of my faith forever in God. Because I don’t serve a God where I feel the need to edit any of my thoughts. I will serve God for as long as I live, but perhaps never feel totally comfortable with Him again. This will change my relationship for good.

I guess the Hebrew writer was right…”31It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” Hebrews 10:31

And that’s for shizzle

What a bloody mess!

“Then The priest shall bring its blood into the Tabernacle, and shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle it…then he shall put the blood upon the horns of the alter there in the Tabernacle before the Lord…thus the priest shall make atonement for the leader concerning his sin, and he shall be forgiven.”  Leviticus 4

Well I have to say that Leviticus is so far one bloody mess.  The first five chapters have been all about killing goats, birds and cows.  And how in sacrificing these animals sins of men will be forgiven.  It’s a really morbid, graphic and cult like way of dealing with our short comings.  At first glance I would write off these sacrificial rituals as weird and strange but then again that’s what the Bible often lends itself to do…surprise you.

I am so thankful that through Jesus Christ we no longer have to sacrifice our goats and birds and such to deal with our sin.  I mean what would happen to the sheep exhibit at the county fair if we still had to sacrifice animals to make our souls acceptable before the Lord?  And PITA would freak out a new one for sure.  Not to mention how weird it would look to the visitors of our churches to have farm animals being graphically killed, skinned and burned.  That’s not visitor friendly for sure.  Plus I can’t stand the sight of dead animals on the side of the road.  I am an animal lover of sorts.  So this would be like parting with my favorite pet every time I commit a sin.  Which is like most people, including me every thirty minutes.

But as I was reading these chapters in Leviticus, I began to realize something about the ancient form of dealing with sin.  There was a process involved in dealing with sin, that was down right inconvenient.  I mean think about it…you had to find an animal that had no defect.  You had to purchase the animal with money from your bank account, take it to the temple stand in line, humiliated,  with other spiritually unclean, humiliated people and wait for your turn to deal with your sin.  This was a long, sort of drawn out process.  Very public, very pricey and very, very, bloody.

I don’t know about you, but I only get twenty dollars a week for spending money.  That’s according our family budget.  Twenty dollars to do with what I please.  Once it’s gone, I’m done, until the next week comes.  But if I had to buy my forgiveness everyday all day, American Express would begin to really love me.  But then I also think about the fact that others would see me going to the temple everyday.  What a humbling experience.

I guess I would really think about sinning in a new light.  You see I often take advantage of grace.  I ashamed to admit that I don’t treat the gift of mercy like a gift, but more like a car.  Something that I use, beat up and expect to get me from point A (earth) to point B (heaven).  If I had to engage in a process of cleansing that would involve more than just a simple prayer, I would like to think that I would not let myself fall into temptation so easily.

The fact is I am thankful that Jesus died for me.  And that I get to receive beautiful grace that the Bible says “covers a multitude of sins”.  But I wonder if we need to treat forgiveness more precious,  and  in that moment of temptation maybe we need to rediscover the weight of sin and the cost that may not always be as visual as a slaughtered cow, but nevertheless is real and wonderful and truly amazing.  The fact that God can love me is enough to humble me to point of, I would like to think…love for Him.

You are my friend…

You might ask, “What’s in a name?”. “And the Lord replied to Moses…you are my friend.” Exodus 33:17One way to know that you have been excepted into a group, is when someone remembers your name. That shows that you were memorable, or maybe they leaned to the person next to them and asked them your name, but nevertheless when someone knows your name you feel good. You feel like a friend.

God told Moses, “…You are my friend.”  Which in the the original translation literally meant “He knows you by name”.  Think about that.  God knows all of our names, one by one.  Again I knew this already, but if you stop and think about it, you realize that the God of the universe cares enough about us to call us his friend.

I hate painting with a passion!

My wife and I, as I have mentioned in earlier blogs, are remodeling our house. And with all the chaos that comes with that. I hate painting with a passion. So much so that whenever we move to a new home I will try with all my might to convince my wife that we have to preserve the look as is. Because I generally think that painting is somewhat pointless. My wife on the other hand thinks it kind of fun, and extremely necessary. And she wins most of the time!

We have all had to paint I’m sure at one time or another. And we all know that we can either put in the time to prep(i.e. tape off around the trim, get the right kind of tools etc.) or we can just open the can of paint and slap it on. I prefer the slap on method, while my wife is all about preparation. And you know what the reason why I don’t tape off the room is because I think that it’s a waste of time. But in the reality of things, when you prepare the way that you should it actually saves you a lot of hard ache and ironically time.

In Exodus 19 is says this… “Then he (God) said to Moses, ‘I am going to come to you in the form of a dark cloud, so that the people themselves can hear me when I talk with you, and then they will always believe you. Sanctify them today and tomorrow, and have them wash their clothes.’”

You know what, I often forget to prepare my soul for God. Every week I go into his presence and I bring with me all the frustrations and junk of the week. My sins, my anger, frustrations and weaknesses. I think that one of the most important things for us to remember is that God can’t fill our hearts, if we skim on the preparation.

You can’t always do it alone…

My house lately has been looking more like a battle zone with a cat. We’ve been doing some major remodeling in our kitchen and two bathrooms. A total makeover if you will.

Yesterday the plumber came to begin work on our sinks, faucets, dishwasher etc. And I became his helper without the benefits of smoke breaks and a pay check from Plumber Comp Inc. I was working on something in another room, when all of a sudden he calls me into the kitchen to assist him in setting the sink and putting the drains in. Now I am not the most gifted handy man. So anyone who wants to show me attention by acknowledging my potential, I get really excited. I basically suck when it comes to wood, acrylic and the like. All he had me do was hold the handle of two screw drivers while he tightened down the strainers. And when we were done, I felt like a real man. I felt like I could build my own house. He thanked me by saying, “That saved me from saying a lot of swear words”. I translated it as, “You are a real man, go now, take your place with pros of home improvement”.

The reality is that sometimes you can’t do things alone. You need a helper. And I know that this thought for some people will seem like a no brainier, but sometimes the biggest insights come in the simplest moments.

I have been reading in Exodus 17 and 18 the past couple of days. Two incidents stuck out to me, and also reminded me of one life’s most overlooked valued lesson. That many hands make light work.

Moses was standing on the mountain top watching a battle take place between the people of Israel and the people Amalek. When ever Moses would raise his hands in the air the Israelites would begin to prevail over the Amaleks. But when his arms got to tired and he would put them down for a rest the Amaleks would begin to have the advantage. So it says that they, “…took a stone and put it under him (Moses), and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands…thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed the Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

Another interesting thing takes place in chapter 18 of Exodus. Moses was feeling overwhelmed with the amount of people coming to him with their needs. And Moses’ father in law says this to him…”The thing you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” Moses had to learn to delegate. He had to learn that he could not do the task alone. He had to let people help him. And through that, better serve his own health and the health of others.

This is simple for us to see at times, while other times we need to be reminded that we are not to live life alone. We constantly need the love, support and guidance from other people around us. If you are feeling overwhelmed today, maybe you need someone to come along side you to hold you up, give you the strength that you don’t posses on your own.

You can’t always do it alone…

Give me your heart!

It says in Exodus 9 “All Egypt lay in ruins.  Everything left in the fields, men and animals alike, was killed, and the trees were shattered and the crops were destroyed…Then Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. ‘I (Pharaoh) finally see my fault,’ he confessed.  ‘Jehovah is right, and I and my people have been wrong all along.  Beg God to end this terrifying thunder and hail, and I will let you go at once.’…So Moses left Pharaoh and went out of the city and lifted his hands to heaven to the Lord, and the thunder and hail stopped, and the rain ceased pouring down.  When Pharaoh saw this, he and his officials…refused to let the people (the Hebrews) leave.”

My in-laws used to have a dog that would climb into the Bathtub every time a thunder storm would start.  He was afraid and would shake a little out of sheer nervousness.  It was kind of sad and little cute at the same time.  But nevertheless when there was a storm without fail you would find this dog huddled in a ball, properly placed inside the bathtub.

Pharaoh, in this story above is modeling similar behavior.  Moses and Aaron were commissioned to go and get the people of Israel from Egypt, and rescue them from slavery.  And every time Pharaoh would refuse, God would send some miracle to show that he meant business.  And this is what we see going on here.  Pharaoh is huddled in a corner, afraid of the golf ball size hail that is coming down, the rain and thunder that is destroying his city.  So in a time of panic he says… “ok, ok, take your people and go, but please just pray to your God to stop this destruction”.

So Moses leaves, prays to God and the plague is ended.  Pharaoh realizing that it is over, goes back on his word and keeps the people of Israel in bondage.  Which brings me to the point of all this…

I know that there are times in all of our lives where I do this same Pharaoh like ritual.  Only instead of keeping people captive in my basement.  I keep my heart captive.  It’s a battle that I fight constantly.  In a time of crises I make deals with God to help me get out.  To ease the pain and bring safety and security my way again.  And then when the clouds are lifted and the smoke has cleared I will go to work recapturing my heart from God.  I will make decisions, without seeking God and in some cases leaving him out of my life totally.

I believe that God has called us to a life of balance.  And this is really difficult to maintain.  Especially when ten out of ten people would say that life is anything but balanced.  But I know that is why we have to maintain  our faith at all times in our lives.  During the ups and the downs we have to continually give our hearts back to God.  Through reading our Bibles, worshiping and prayer.  Giving control of our lives to him.

And remember this, a consistent faith is better than a bunch of failed promises.  God knows that we are bad deal makers,  that we are bad at making promises.  So everyday we must live in such a way that says, “Lord I give you my heart”.

A thought to add to the masses…

i defiantly struggle with having confidence in my self.  i remember being in high school and hearing lectures on having confidence in your abilities to do anything that you put your mind to.  and i still believe that.  but we have all come across people who probably should have skipped some of those talks.  there heads are so big that reality is no longer a habitat that they live in.

but what about how we look at ourselves in relation to Christ?   when i lack confidence in my abilities, in my self as a person, how should i think?

i (on my better days) want to give praise to God through the way that i live my life.  all the decisions that i make, the way i treat others and on and on.  and sometimes i can really get in the way.  i mean that i become the reason for life.  C.S. Lewis put it this way, “The problem develops when you pass from thinking, ‘I have pleased him; all is well,’ to thinking, ‘What a fine person be to have done it.’  The more you delight in yourself and the less you delight in the praise, the worse you are becoming.  When you delight wholly in yourself and do not care about the praise at all, you have reached bottom.”

Exodus 3 says this, (The Message)
9-10 “The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I’ve seen for myself how cruelly they’re being treated by the Egyptians. It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”
11 Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 “I’ll be with you,” God said. “

you know it seems whenever i struggle with having confidence in my self, God will without fail invite me to view a valuable lesson.  i believe that God doesn’t most of the time force us but invites us to see that we are indeed lacking many things.  we are nothing without God.  much like Moses i stand before God asking him, “Why me God?”, “I am not the right one for this job.”.  but God simply replies, “Than it’s you that I want to do the job precisely”.   it’s like God invites us to a job interview, and we feel under qualified, yet something within us says, “Just go, see what happens”.  we get to the interview and find out that God is ready for us to start.  without even looking at our references.  and we are thrust into a journey that as we go makes us realize over and over that we are in need of God.  when we come to end of ourselves, we are usable.  when we feel like we have nothing to offer, we have everything to offer. God invites us, and we must choose.

Thomas Merton talks about his feelings of inadequacy… “Yes, I am afraid, because I forget that I am nothing.  If I remembered that I have nothing called my own that will not be lost anyway, that only what is not mine but God’s will ever live, then I would not fear so many false fears.”

just a thought to add to the masses…