What a bloody mess!

“Then The priest shall bring its blood into the Tabernacle, and shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle it…then he shall put the blood upon the horns of the alter there in the Tabernacle before the Lord…thus the priest shall make atonement for the leader concerning his sin, and he shall be forgiven.”  Leviticus 4

Well I have to say that Leviticus is so far one bloody mess.  The first five chapters have been all about killing goats, birds and cows.  And how in sacrificing these animals sins of men will be forgiven.  It’s a really morbid, graphic and cult like way of dealing with our short comings.  At first glance I would write off these sacrificial rituals as weird and strange but then again that’s what the Bible often lends itself to do…surprise you.

I am so thankful that through Jesus Christ we no longer have to sacrifice our goats and birds and such to deal with our sin.  I mean what would happen to the sheep exhibit at the county fair if we still had to sacrifice animals to make our souls acceptable before the Lord?  And PITA would freak out a new one for sure.  Not to mention how weird it would look to the visitors of our churches to have farm animals being graphically killed, skinned and burned.  That’s not visitor friendly for sure.  Plus I can’t stand the sight of dead animals on the side of the road.  I am an animal lover of sorts.  So this would be like parting with my favorite pet every time I commit a sin.  Which is like most people, including me every thirty minutes.

But as I was reading these chapters in Leviticus, I began to realize something about the ancient form of dealing with sin.  There was a process involved in dealing with sin, that was down right inconvenient.  I mean think about it…you had to find an animal that had no defect.  You had to purchase the animal with money from your bank account, take it to the temple stand in line, humiliated,  with other spiritually unclean, humiliated people and wait for your turn to deal with your sin.  This was a long, sort of drawn out process.  Very public, very pricey and very, very, bloody.

I don’t know about you, but I only get twenty dollars a week for spending money.  That’s according our family budget.  Twenty dollars to do with what I please.  Once it’s gone, I’m done, until the next week comes.  But if I had to buy my forgiveness everyday all day, American Express would begin to really love me.  But then I also think about the fact that others would see me going to the temple everyday.  What a humbling experience.

I guess I would really think about sinning in a new light.  You see I often take advantage of grace.  I ashamed to admit that I don’t treat the gift of mercy like a gift, but more like a car.  Something that I use, beat up and expect to get me from point A (earth) to point B (heaven).  If I had to engage in a process of cleansing that would involve more than just a simple prayer, I would like to think that I would not let myself fall into temptation so easily.

The fact is I am thankful that Jesus died for me.  And that I get to receive beautiful grace that the Bible says “covers a multitude of sins”.  But I wonder if we need to treat forgiveness more precious,  and  in that moment of temptation maybe we need to rediscover the weight of sin and the cost that may not always be as visual as a slaughtered cow, but nevertheless is real and wonderful and truly amazing.  The fact that God can love me is enough to humble me to point of, I would like to think…love for Him.

You are my friend…

You might ask, “What’s in a name?”. “And the Lord replied to Moses…you are my friend.” Exodus 33:17One way to know that you have been excepted into a group, is when someone remembers your name. That shows that you were memorable, or maybe they leaned to the person next to them and asked them your name, but nevertheless when someone knows your name you feel good. You feel like a friend.

God told Moses, “…You are my friend.”  Which in the the original translation literally meant “He knows you by name”.  Think about that.  God knows all of our names, one by one.  Again I knew this already, but if you stop and think about it, you realize that the God of the universe cares enough about us to call us his friend.

I hate painting with a passion!

My wife and I, as I have mentioned in earlier blogs, are remodeling our house. And with all the chaos that comes with that. I hate painting with a passion. So much so that whenever we move to a new home I will try with all my might to convince my wife that we have to preserve the look as is. Because I generally think that painting is somewhat pointless. My wife on the other hand thinks it kind of fun, and extremely necessary. And she wins most of the time!

We have all had to paint I’m sure at one time or another. And we all know that we can either put in the time to prep(i.e. tape off around the trim, get the right kind of tools etc.) or we can just open the can of paint and slap it on. I prefer the slap on method, while my wife is all about preparation. And you know what the reason why I don’t tape off the room is because I think that it’s a waste of time. But in the reality of things, when you prepare the way that you should it actually saves you a lot of hard ache and ironically time.

In Exodus 19 is says this… “Then he (God) said to Moses, ‘I am going to come to you in the form of a dark cloud, so that the people themselves can hear me when I talk with you, and then they will always believe you. Sanctify them today and tomorrow, and have them wash their clothes.’”

You know what, I often forget to prepare my soul for God. Every week I go into his presence and I bring with me all the frustrations and junk of the week. My sins, my anger, frustrations and weaknesses. I think that one of the most important things for us to remember is that God can’t fill our hearts, if we skim on the preparation.

You can’t always do it alone…

My house lately has been looking more like a battle zone with a cat. We’ve been doing some major remodeling in our kitchen and two bathrooms. A total makeover if you will.

Yesterday the plumber came to begin work on our sinks, faucets, dishwasher etc. And I became his helper without the benefits of smoke breaks and a pay check from Plumber Comp Inc. I was working on something in another room, when all of a sudden he calls me into the kitchen to assist him in setting the sink and putting the drains in. Now I am not the most gifted handy man. So anyone who wants to show me attention by acknowledging my potential, I get really excited. I basically suck when it comes to wood, acrylic and the like. All he had me do was hold the handle of two screw drivers while he tightened down the strainers. And when we were done, I felt like a real man. I felt like I could build my own house. He thanked me by saying, “That saved me from saying a lot of swear words”. I translated it as, “You are a real man, go now, take your place with pros of home improvement”.

The reality is that sometimes you can’t do things alone. You need a helper. And I know that this thought for some people will seem like a no brainier, but sometimes the biggest insights come in the simplest moments.

I have been reading in Exodus 17 and 18 the past couple of days. Two incidents stuck out to me, and also reminded me of one life’s most overlooked valued lesson. That many hands make light work.

Moses was standing on the mountain top watching a battle take place between the people of Israel and the people Amalek. When ever Moses would raise his hands in the air the Israelites would begin to prevail over the Amaleks. But when his arms got to tired and he would put them down for a rest the Amaleks would begin to have the advantage. So it says that they, “…took a stone and put it under him (Moses), and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands…thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed the Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

Another interesting thing takes place in chapter 18 of Exodus. Moses was feeling overwhelmed with the amount of people coming to him with their needs. And Moses’ father in law says this to him…”The thing you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” Moses had to learn to delegate. He had to learn that he could not do the task alone. He had to let people help him. And through that, better serve his own health and the health of others.

This is simple for us to see at times, while other times we need to be reminded that we are not to live life alone. We constantly need the love, support and guidance from other people around us. If you are feeling overwhelmed today, maybe you need someone to come along side you to hold you up, give you the strength that you don’t posses on your own.

You can’t always do it alone…

Give me your heart!

It says in Exodus 9 “All Egypt lay in ruins.  Everything left in the fields, men and animals alike, was killed, and the trees were shattered and the crops were destroyed…Then Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. ‘I (Pharaoh) finally see my fault,’ he confessed.  ‘Jehovah is right, and I and my people have been wrong all along.  Beg God to end this terrifying thunder and hail, and I will let you go at once.’…So Moses left Pharaoh and went out of the city and lifted his hands to heaven to the Lord, and the thunder and hail stopped, and the rain ceased pouring down.  When Pharaoh saw this, he and his officials…refused to let the people (the Hebrews) leave.”

My in-laws used to have a dog that would climb into the Bathtub every time a thunder storm would start.  He was afraid and would shake a little out of sheer nervousness.  It was kind of sad and little cute at the same time.  But nevertheless when there was a storm without fail you would find this dog huddled in a ball, properly placed inside the bathtub.

Pharaoh, in this story above is modeling similar behavior.  Moses and Aaron were commissioned to go and get the people of Israel from Egypt, and rescue them from slavery.  And every time Pharaoh would refuse, God would send some miracle to show that he meant business.  And this is what we see going on here.  Pharaoh is huddled in a corner, afraid of the golf ball size hail that is coming down, the rain and thunder that is destroying his city.  So in a time of panic he says… “ok, ok, take your people and go, but please just pray to your God to stop this destruction”.

So Moses leaves, prays to God and the plague is ended.  Pharaoh realizing that it is over, goes back on his word and keeps the people of Israel in bondage.  Which brings me to the point of all this…

I know that there are times in all of our lives where I do this same Pharaoh like ritual.  Only instead of keeping people captive in my basement.  I keep my heart captive.  It’s a battle that I fight constantly.  In a time of crises I make deals with God to help me get out.  To ease the pain and bring safety and security my way again.  And then when the clouds are lifted and the smoke has cleared I will go to work recapturing my heart from God.  I will make decisions, without seeking God and in some cases leaving him out of my life totally.

I believe that God has called us to a life of balance.  And this is really difficult to maintain.  Especially when ten out of ten people would say that life is anything but balanced.  But I know that is why we have to maintain  our faith at all times in our lives.  During the ups and the downs we have to continually give our hearts back to God.  Through reading our Bibles, worshiping and prayer.  Giving control of our lives to him.

And remember this, a consistent faith is better than a bunch of failed promises.  God knows that we are bad deal makers,  that we are bad at making promises.  So everyday we must live in such a way that says, “Lord I give you my heart”.

A thought to add to the masses…

i defiantly struggle with having confidence in my self.  i remember being in high school and hearing lectures on having confidence in your abilities to do anything that you put your mind to.  and i still believe that.  but we have all come across people who probably should have skipped some of those talks.  there heads are so big that reality is no longer a habitat that they live in.

but what about how we look at ourselves in relation to Christ?   when i lack confidence in my abilities, in my self as a person, how should i think?

i (on my better days) want to give praise to God through the way that i live my life.  all the decisions that i make, the way i treat others and on and on.  and sometimes i can really get in the way.  i mean that i become the reason for life.  C.S. Lewis put it this way, “The problem develops when you pass from thinking, ‘I have pleased him; all is well,’ to thinking, ‘What a fine person be to have done it.’  The more you delight in yourself and the less you delight in the praise, the worse you are becoming.  When you delight wholly in yourself and do not care about the praise at all, you have reached bottom.”

Exodus 3 says this, (The Message)
9-10 “The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I’ve seen for myself how cruelly they’re being treated by the Egyptians. It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”
11 Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 “I’ll be with you,” God said. “

you know it seems whenever i struggle with having confidence in my self, God will without fail invite me to view a valuable lesson.  i believe that God doesn’t most of the time force us but invites us to see that we are indeed lacking many things.  we are nothing without God.  much like Moses i stand before God asking him, “Why me God?”, “I am not the right one for this job.”.  but God simply replies, “Than it’s you that I want to do the job precisely”.   it’s like God invites us to a job interview, and we feel under qualified, yet something within us says, “Just go, see what happens”.  we get to the interview and find out that God is ready for us to start.  without even looking at our references.  and we are thrust into a journey that as we go makes us realize over and over that we are in need of God.  when we come to end of ourselves, we are usable.  when we feel like we have nothing to offer, we have everything to offer. God invites us, and we must choose.

Thomas Merton talks about his feelings of inadequacy… “Yes, I am afraid, because I forget that I am nothing.  If I remembered that I have nothing called my own that will not be lost anyway, that only what is not mine but God’s will ever live, then I would not fear so many false fears.”

just a thought to add to the masses…

As the year draws to its conclusion…

well i am sitting in my office in the basement of our new house.  a place that i have grown fairly fond off.  it’s a nice cozy place to sit and reflect on the year of 2007.  what a crazy, exciting up and down year that it has been.  no doubt that my faith has been yet again stretched and i think a few times along the way may have even broke, but nevertheless i am still alive.

i am finishing up the book of Genesis, for those of you who are following along in my journey.  and i thought it kind of interesting the story of joseph and his brothers. (Genesis 36-50)  but first let me tell you some events that i can remember of this year…

1. i got a job at Northgate Free Methodist Church!  www.northgatefmc.com   What an exciting, scary time…mostly just happy!

2. a couple of months later all of the pastors leave the church to seek other ministry adventures.  this was very tough for me and others seeing Pastor Paul, my friend leave to pursue planting a church.  i was happy for him, but sad that we were not going to get to work together at Northgate.

3. got to meet joseph my little baby cousin on a family vacation to the smokey mountains of Tennessee. wow what an amazing little man with a big teething problem.

4. the birth of another nephew…finneas.  another blessing to be apart of this year.

5. my parents move home to buffalo to work at the church that i grew up in.  two of my best friends also known as Mom and Pappa roo, back within in a practical driving distance.

6. a good friend Brent Hersey dies unexpectedly.

7. megh and i get pregnant!  yeehaa!!!!!!!

8. a new staff is placed at Northgate!  i get to work with some new amazing friends…Andy, Lori, Greg, Jackie, Gloria, and Ed.

9. i realize how much i love working with Jeff, Sherrie, Justin and of course Marla

10. getting to know my brother in law Jonathan all while schooling him out on the golf course. (i of course am lying)

11. when my family and i planned a nice surprise birthday for megh!  what a great night with Ethan, Julie, Fin, Jonathan, Tina and Megh.  we ate some good Alladin’s and even better desert at Phillips European restaurant!!!

12. going and cutting down the best Christmas Tree to date.  i didn’t even measure, it fit perfectly!

13. Megh and I finding out that we lost the baby.  realizing that all babies are miracles from God.

you can read this in Genesis 37 “‘Look there’ Judah said to the others.  ‘Here come some Ishmaelites. Let’s sell Joseph to them!  Why kill him and have a guilty conscience?  Let’s not be responsible for his death, for, after all, he is our brother!’…so when the traders came by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver, and they took him along to Egypt.”

now so many other things shaped the year.  and for the most part it has been a good year.  but as i mentioned in the beginning i find the story of joseph to feel a little at home right now.  why?  well Joseph was sold out by his own flesh and blood.  and what i find kind off discouraging, is that God allowed it to take place.  he allowed Joseph to be sold into a life that seemed to be headed for death as a slave to the Egyptians.  what a rough year for him.

i am a Christ follower.  i love God and therefore i consider myself a Christian.  i am part of family…spiritually, mentally and physically.  yet there have been moments this year that i have felt sold by God.  by my family.  when we lost our first baby i was heart broken.  i asked God many, many questions, as did Joseph.  but then if you read further on in the story God does something unique and Godlike…

“Pharaoh and his assistants…discussed who should be appointed for the job, Pharaoh said, ‘Who could do it better than Joseph?  For he is filled with the Spirit of God…I am hereby appointing you to be in charge of this entire project.  What you say goes, throughout all the land of Egypt.  I alone will outrank you.’” Genesis 41

Joseph in the end, due to his power and rank, saves his brothers and father from starvation.  giving them a new chance at life.  God knew what he was doing.

there are going to be times that i am going to feel sold.  that i have been placed with a price tag and that anything crazy in life can come along and buy me, use me up and throw me away.  all the while God just stands by.  but i can’t really see the end of the story.  i don’t really have all he answers to why some parts of my life are great and others down right suck.  in the same breathe i do believe that answers are overrated.  Thomas Merton once said, “I do not have clear answers to current questions. I do have questions, and, as a matter of fact, I think a man is known better by his questions than by his answers.”

God knows my story and the ending, that of which sometimes i can’t see or understand.  but i do know that even when i feel like God has turned his back on me, questions are all that i have.  and those questions can be answered, maybe not in this year, but in years to come.  another year coming to it’s conclusion is the start of another chapter in which more of your story will be made clearer to you.

“It is perhaps always a bit disappointing when we look for an answer to the question of God in our lives.  We are left only with titles of books, names of people and few old facts.  It seems all a bit lean and superficial.  God doesn’t let Himself get caught in titles, names and facts.  But He lets Himself be suspected.”  Henri Nouwen

happy new year everyone!