A thought to add to the masses…

i defiantly struggle with having confidence in my self.  i remember being in high school and hearing lectures on having confidence in your abilities to do anything that you put your mind to.  and i still believe that.  but we have all come across people who probably should have skipped some of those talks.  there heads are so big that reality is no longer a habitat that they live in.

but what about how we look at ourselves in relation to Christ?   when i lack confidence in my abilities, in my self as a person, how should i think?

i (on my better days) want to give praise to God through the way that i live my life.  all the decisions that i make, the way i treat others and on and on.  and sometimes i can really get in the way.  i mean that i become the reason for life.  C.S. Lewis put it this way, “The problem develops when you pass from thinking, ‘I have pleased him; all is well,’ to thinking, ‘What a fine person be to have done it.’  The more you delight in yourself and the less you delight in the praise, the worse you are becoming.  When you delight wholly in yourself and do not care about the praise at all, you have reached bottom.”

Exodus 3 says this, (The Message)
9-10 “The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I’ve seen for myself how cruelly they’re being treated by the Egyptians. It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”
11 Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 12 “I’ll be with you,” God said. “

you know it seems whenever i struggle with having confidence in my self, God will without fail invite me to view a valuable lesson.  i believe that God doesn’t most of the time force us but invites us to see that we are indeed lacking many things.  we are nothing without God.  much like Moses i stand before God asking him, “Why me God?”, “I am not the right one for this job.”.  but God simply replies, “Than it’s you that I want to do the job precisely”.   it’s like God invites us to a job interview, and we feel under qualified, yet something within us says, “Just go, see what happens”.  we get to the interview and find out that God is ready for us to start.  without even looking at our references.  and we are thrust into a journey that as we go makes us realize over and over that we are in need of God.  when we come to end of ourselves, we are usable.  when we feel like we have nothing to offer, we have everything to offer. God invites us, and we must choose.

Thomas Merton talks about his feelings of inadequacy… “Yes, I am afraid, because I forget that I am nothing.  If I remembered that I have nothing called my own that will not be lost anyway, that only what is not mine but God’s will ever live, then I would not fear so many false fears.”

just a thought to add to the masses…