As the year draws to its conclusion…

well i am sitting in my office in the basement of our new house.  a place that i have grown fairly fond off.  it’s a nice cozy place to sit and reflect on the year of 2007.  what a crazy, exciting up and down year that it has been.  no doubt that my faith has been yet again stretched and i think a few times along the way may have even broke, but nevertheless i am still alive.

i am finishing up the book of Genesis, for those of you who are following along in my journey.  and i thought it kind of interesting the story of joseph and his brothers. (Genesis 36-50)  but first let me tell you some events that i can remember of this year…

1. i got a job at Northgate Free Methodist Church!  www.northgatefmc.com   What an exciting, scary time…mostly just happy!

2. a couple of months later all of the pastors leave the church to seek other ministry adventures.  this was very tough for me and others seeing Pastor Paul, my friend leave to pursue planting a church.  i was happy for him, but sad that we were not going to get to work together at Northgate.

3. got to meet joseph my little baby cousin on a family vacation to the smokey mountains of Tennessee. wow what an amazing little man with a big teething problem.

4. the birth of another nephew…finneas.  another blessing to be apart of this year.

5. my parents move home to buffalo to work at the church that i grew up in.  two of my best friends also known as Mom and Pappa roo, back within in a practical driving distance.

6. a good friend Brent Hersey dies unexpectedly.

7. megh and i get pregnant!  yeehaa!!!!!!!

8. a new staff is placed at Northgate!  i get to work with some new amazing friends…Andy, Lori, Greg, Jackie, Gloria, and Ed.

9. i realize how much i love working with Jeff, Sherrie, Justin and of course Marla

10. getting to know my brother in law Jonathan all while schooling him out on the golf course. (i of course am lying)

11. when my family and i planned a nice surprise birthday for megh!  what a great night with Ethan, Julie, Fin, Jonathan, Tina and Megh.  we ate some good Alladin’s and even better desert at Phillips European restaurant!!!

12. going and cutting down the best Christmas Tree to date.  i didn’t even measure, it fit perfectly!

13. Megh and I finding out that we lost the baby.  realizing that all babies are miracles from God.

you can read this in Genesis 37 “‘Look there’ Judah said to the others.  ‘Here come some Ishmaelites. Let’s sell Joseph to them!  Why kill him and have a guilty conscience?  Let’s not be responsible for his death, for, after all, he is our brother!’…so when the traders came by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver, and they took him along to Egypt.”

now so many other things shaped the year.  and for the most part it has been a good year.  but as i mentioned in the beginning i find the story of joseph to feel a little at home right now.  why?  well Joseph was sold out by his own flesh and blood.  and what i find kind off discouraging, is that God allowed it to take place.  he allowed Joseph to be sold into a life that seemed to be headed for death as a slave to the Egyptians.  what a rough year for him.

i am a Christ follower.  i love God and therefore i consider myself a Christian.  i am part of family…spiritually, mentally and physically.  yet there have been moments this year that i have felt sold by God.  by my family.  when we lost our first baby i was heart broken.  i asked God many, many questions, as did Joseph.  but then if you read further on in the story God does something unique and Godlike…

“Pharaoh and his assistants…discussed who should be appointed for the job, Pharaoh said, ‘Who could do it better than Joseph?  For he is filled with the Spirit of God…I am hereby appointing you to be in charge of this entire project.  What you say goes, throughout all the land of Egypt.  I alone will outrank you.’” Genesis 41

Joseph in the end, due to his power and rank, saves his brothers and father from starvation.  giving them a new chance at life.  God knew what he was doing.

there are going to be times that i am going to feel sold.  that i have been placed with a price tag and that anything crazy in life can come along and buy me, use me up and throw me away.  all the while God just stands by.  but i can’t really see the end of the story.  i don’t really have all he answers to why some parts of my life are great and others down right suck.  in the same breathe i do believe that answers are overrated.  Thomas Merton once said, “I do not have clear answers to current questions. I do have questions, and, as a matter of fact, I think a man is known better by his questions than by his answers.”

God knows my story and the ending, that of which sometimes i can’t see or understand.  but i do know that even when i feel like God has turned his back on me, questions are all that i have.  and those questions can be answered, maybe not in this year, but in years to come.  another year coming to it’s conclusion is the start of another chapter in which more of your story will be made clearer to you.

“It is perhaps always a bit disappointing when we look for an answer to the question of God in our lives.  We are left only with titles of books, names of people and few old facts.  It seems all a bit lean and superficial.  God doesn’t let Himself get caught in titles, names and facts.  But He lets Himself be suspected.”  Henri Nouwen

happy new year everyone!

Encouraging words for the journey ahead…

Vincent van Gogh once wrote these words in a letter to his sister, “You…read books…to draw from them the energy to act”.  i have been reading the Bible from cover to cover.  and so far i have been doing pretty good.  it’s kind of tough though sometimes to want to read.  why?  i am not sure.  maybe because i would rather read about what other authors gleaned from the bible, sort of avoiding, personal revelation.

but i am not doing this to gain attention from others, or prove to some that i am actually a pretty literate person after all.  or am i?  i mean i want to know all there is to know about God’s words.  i want to feel closer to God, sure.  but i have to admit that i think that sometimes i pray, worship and read with an arms length mentality.

the Bible is not just any old book.  it asks you do some radical stuff that will no doubt leave the weak sometimes at bay.  but nevertheless i am on a journey to find out what the Bible has to say to me.  not what the Bible has to say for others.

i was reading in Genesis 33 that Jacob wrestled with an angel or maybe even God.  and that Jacob at one point in the wrestling match said,  “the man said, ‘let me go, for it is dawn.’ but Jacob panted, ‘i will not let you go until you bless me.’”  i want to engage in this type of match like intensity to find out what God has to say to me.

God loves me and wants to say something to each one of us…personally.  there are many people out there who have a lot of amazing insights on what the Bible says, but realize they are not the only sojourners.  which  is exactly why Vincent van Gogh ended his letter to his sister with these words, “I…read books to find the artist who wrote them”.

hanging on to junk…

my wife and i recently moved from a fourth floor apartment to a nice house.  and in the process we have again been reminded of all the stuff that we have.  we could easily start a small department store ranging from hardware to fabrics.  we have just about everything that you could think of.

now we both agree that most of the the stuff that we own is garage sale worthy.  in other words… junk.  stuff that we could certainly live without.  but i can also think of things that we own that are valuable.  maybe not to others, but to us these items are priceless.  like, i have a Bible that i have had since i can’t remember when.  and i am not trying to be super spiritual, but if i ever lost it i think that i would kill to get it back.  weird that i would do something that is considered a no no in the item that i would be trying to recapture.  but anyways….

i have also given away some things that i should have never parted with.  we all have heard the stories.  these things looking back were special to me, and in a moment of sheer impulse i abandoned for one reason or another.  nothing to significant or for no good reason.

i find myself not only letting go of material things, but also the spiritual things that i have obtained.  i was reading today in Genesis 25 “And Esau vowed, thereby selling all his eldest-son rights to his younger brother.  then Jacob gave Esau bread, peas, and stew; so he ate and drank and went on about his business, indifferent to the loss of the rights he had thrown away.”

i am all about instant gratification.   i am not alone in this one either.  the world operates on a similar, engine like consistency.  anything to make life easier, faster or satisfying.  but we all know that easier, faster or satisfying is not always and should not always come so easy.

Esau sold his birth right for relief from hunger pains.  he wanted so badly to feel better in the that moment that he gave away his future riches.  and the Bible says walked away indifferent to whole transaction.  which got me thinking…

when i gave my will to Christ, i was given freedom.  i was given so many riches.  not material things per say, but lessons learned. some easy and some hard.  yet there are days when i willingly give up my freedom for instant gratification.  there are days i would rather hang on to junk, because it feels better.  and even scarier, i walk away indifferent to what i gave up.

following God is not easy.  my spiritual birth right is worth a lot more than sometimes i realize.  there are times i feel like trading my birthright for something more flashy, more glitzy and less frustrating.  but in reality what was given to me is worth more than anything this world has to offer.

i just need to wake up and smell the coffee!

a not so flattering lesson from Noah

yesterday i went and played ice hockey with some friends.  i got hit in the jugular with someones shoulder and now i have a cold.  how does that happen?  i have a sore throat, which i can deduce is from the hit i took, but how can you explain the other cold like symptoms?

anyways i was in the drug store yesterday trying to get some lozenges for my throat and there was this elderly lady in front of me working on purchasing the entire store.   you know all those things that they put by the cash register, like lighters, lottery tickets, playing cards etc…?  well they make that crap for people like this lady.

so had some time and my eyes began to look at “those” magazines.  you know the ones.  they can’t sell with the other magazines so they have to be separated.  the cover was filled with half naked celebrities in not so flattering poses.  the headlines were all about embarrassing fiasco’s.  this person said this about that race, and that person had an affair and is now pregnant.  and it got me thinking…

what if my sins, what if the things i said and did were placed out on public display for all to view?  how would i feel?

the other day i was reading in Genesis chapter 9 where it talks about Noah and his three sons.  Noah, the once mega boat builder is now found drunk and naked in his tent.  drunk and naked!

Ham (Noah’s son)  walks in to find his father in this less than appropriate state.  the story goes that Ham leaves in a hurry and goes to his two brothers, Shem and Japeth to alert them of the situation.  so Shem and Jepeth take a robe into there fathers tent and cover him up.  it really is a fascinating story and is very similar to the society around us.

you see Ham could’ve just got a robe and covered his father up himself.  instead he chooses to talk.  i like to talk about people.  especially when it comes to the short comings of others.  it’s kind of fun and entertaining.  it makes me feel better about my pathetic self.

1 Peter says this 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”  when i choose to talk i am choosing in some cases not to love.  God calls us to not be seekers of wrong, but lovers of those caught in sin.  what if we really did try and help people that we caught in sin?  what if we stopped and helped them cover up, get it together and move on?  my guess is that the church would be a whole lot bigger than it is now, and those magazines would have to find new material.

just a thought.

the birth of music…

i absolutely love music. music is the soundtrack to life. i really believe that. i mean every album that i own has some sentimental meaning behind it. i love that music can transport you to a different time and place with the pushing of a right faced arrow. it’s the beauty of God really.

i recently read that Fraud hated music! he actually wrote on many occasions about how much he disliked music. how it hurt his ears, and the tones did not seem to agree with him. now we are not talking music like def leperd or ac/dc, we are talking bach and beethovan. some of the prettiest, wittiest and most elegant music ever made.

well like i said a couple of days ago, i have started on my journey to read the Bible from cover to cover. and i stumbled acrossed something that i had never noticed before. a passage in Genesis that reads… “to Adah was born a baby named Jabal. he became the first of the cattlemen and those living in tents. his brother’s name was Jubal, the first musician–the inventor of the harp and flute.” Genesis 4:21

i never thought about music having an originator, yet the Bible says that the artist known as Jubal was indeed the first musician. i wonder if david, writer of Psalms, also known for his musical abilities, had ever heard any of jubal’s work with the harp. i mean david played a harp it says in 1 Samuel 16:23. you gotta wonder if he ever played a song written by the inventor himself, or if david had an ipod with Jubal on it. i doubt it. but anyways…

what a pleasant surprise to be able to read about art that i am passionate about. not all art can be traced back to the originator, but for sure if you own a Bible you can read about this man named jubal and the birth of music.

what happens when you really read the Bible?

my mother in law has a board game called “glory”. it is a Biblical trivia game that i a have participated in from time to time.  some of the questions are really tough, while others are very easy.  but there is something about playing a board game that deals with the history of the faith that you have decided to stake your life on.  i am pretty good on some of the new testament questions, but when it comes to most of the old testament i have to admit that i am a train wreck.  so i have decided to start something that i should have done long ago.  really read the Bible!

i have been reading a book called “The year of living Biblically” by a.j.jacobs. and it has really inspired me to really read the bible from cover to cover. i have never ever done that before. the other night while i was speaking at thursdays (our young adults group at northgate, the church i am employed at) i realized that i have never fully read the Bible from cover to cover.

so i have decided to start my journey. i am going to read the Bible from genesis to revelation. and i am going to blog my journey along the way. i have already discovered some really cool things that i have skimmed over many, many times. i am excited, but also a little overwhelmed. so i hope that you all will enjoy this! and maybe when you sit down at some dinner table somewhere to play some meaningless Biblical board game  you will find that it’s not about knowing all the answers, it’s about the journey in which you seek those answers.

peace.

the beauty of complicated thought

sometimes i get a little tired to being a Christian.  not because i doubt that there is a God, or that He loves me, but because a religion that is built entirely on faith is tough.  faith implies mostly that you are going to encounter times when you just don’t understand why God would say this, or do that, or why Jesus was the way he was.  i have found that (and this may blow some of your minds) following Christ is full of complicated, frustrating thought.  so why do i put myself through the ringer?  especially when we live in a world where you return more store bought items than you keep, a decision usually based on consumer convenience.

in the same breathe, i also believe that you need to have a spiritual side to life in order to have a well rounded soul.  so that means that there are going to be times when what you learn or experience is complicated.  you will not just “get it” like a switch so easily turns on a light bulb when you enter a room.  there are going to be times when you wrestle with God for awhile, hoping that this will stretch your life in a positive way.

i think that we always have to remember that as we learn more about who we are as humans in relation to our creator, that there are going to be things about our faith that we may never understand.  there is a spiritual tension created by just being human trying to figure out an all powerful God.  we have to learn to become somewhat comfortable with living withing that tension.  we have to know that positive tension is good for the soul.  it keeps us balanced.  i don’t believe that humans could actually (i love Jack Nicholson) “handle the truth”.  our brains would not be able to know what to do with all that information.

so the next time you go to the book store to buy the book, “idiots guide to wisdom and faith in Christ” think about this,  “…A textbook is a reduction of subtle thought into a simple outline.  in the process of streamlining complicated thought, soul is lost.” Thomas Moore

Old Friends, sitting on the park bench like book ends…

I worked once upon a time for a general contractor.  He was a large, jovial fellow with a hearty laugh and dead broke.   But he would often buy me lunch and we would ride around in his broken down van and just talk about God, family and getting married.  We both liked the band Simon and Garfunkel.  And we would often sit in his van thrashing to the music of one of the greatest groups ever to write music.

One afternoon as we were driving down the road singing S&G my singing partner sang these words… “Old friends, sitting on there poppin shlock nook ends”.   At which I thought was so funny.  I asked to him to sing those words again and tell me what they mean.  As some of you may know the real words are, “Old friends, sitting on the park bench like book ends”.

This past weekend we had our second annual “Thursdays” progressive dinner on non motorized wheels.  And we had a great time.  But what I enjoyed most about the dinner was seeing some some old friends.  Seeing them was like a breathe of fresh air to my soul.  It was air that I didn’t even realize I was missing.  But it did my heart well to just spend time with people.  People that you have been with through thick and thin.  People that have been there for you and helped you sometimes more than you realize.

I often forget the importance of staying in touch, keeping ties connected.  In fact the pressure to disconnect from people in my life becomes very strong at times.  The urge to be able to adapt to life.  A life where people are going to come in to your world and then just disappear as fast as they appeared.

The other night was a great reminder to make “Old friends”.  To make connections with people that will last a lifetime.

Death and Life all in one week.

This morning I went to the park to be alone and pray. I have to go the park on weeks when I feel my body telling me that it’s time to retreat for a while and clear my head. I have had a very busy few months, with a full range of emotional roller coasters. One of my best friends moves away to pursue a ministry opportunity, church stuff, this week a death of a close friend and the birth of a new nephew. wow!

On Tuesday I received a phone call informing me that Brent, a good friend had passed away. My heart began to sink and I’ve got to tell you that I was very upset and angry with God. I mean Brent had been coming to thursdays (a young adult group that I lead at Northgate) for about two and a half years. We had many conversations where we would cry together, laugh together and wrestle with God together. I cannot believe that God would do this. I loved Brent and wanted to see him well. I was shocked. Brent was sick, but I totally believed that God was going to heal and restore him into a person that would live a long, productive life. What happened?

This really shook me.

Then last night around 4:30am my wife and I got a call from Ethan (my brother in law) telling us that our new nephew had been born! We were so excited at the thought that we are going to be an aunt and uncle again! What an exciting thing to happen to our family. God has really blessed us this week. I love my family, even the new little one that I haven’t met yet.

So sitting at the park this morning I was just reflecting on all of this and realized that I have experienced the opposite spectrum’s of human life. Death and life all in one week. Two people that I love, one now absent, and one newly present. How often does that happen? Well I think more often than we think.

I was reading this morning in 1 John 3, “Let us practice loving each other, for love comes from God and those who are loving and kind show that they are the children of God, and that they are getting to know him better…For though we have never yet seen God, when we love each other God lives in us and his love within us grows even stronger.” God does call us to love people and love them well. And this can be difficult because love means taring a part of our heart and giving it to someone else. It means that we care so deeply for this other person that Christ has made. Then that person moves away, losses touch or dies taking that piece or your heart that was such a sacrifice in the first place for you to part with. But nevertheless we as Christians are compelled to freely give what we have freely received…love.

As I was meditating on my week and this passage of scripture something hit me, when God removes one love, he brings another. And by saying that I don’t mean replaces, but calls us to remember. Their is this constant cycle of shifting love. When Brent died this week a piece of my heart went with him, and now I have a new little nephew that I am compelled to love and poor myself into. And I think that death helps us to remember to love those that come after even more. Because we really are unsure how much time we have to poor our love into a person. Brent will always serve as a Godly reminder that I must love my nephew with all of my heart. Hold nothing back, give myself away willingly and pray that God has everything under control.

Love someone today so that tomorrow you can do it all over again!

The Wonder of a Quieted Soul.

I am the director of worship ministries and Thursdays at Northgate Free Methodist Church in Batavia N.Y. (www.northgatefmc.com). And I love our community. I believe that God has blessed us so much. Every week close to a thousand people attend one of our weekly services, all of them about 60 minutes long, hopefully leaving refreshed and ready to be a light that reflects Christ. That is the goal of every service at Northgate, to facilitate life change. But what goes on the rest of the week?

You know every weekend a minority of people in our cities and towns actually find time in their schedule to come to church. We lead such busy lives that by the time service roles around there are other things pulling for our attention.

Every man, women and child has a story, a life that happens Monday through Saturday. In fact for most people it’s hard to get all the kids up, get them ready and out the door on time, I think that is why my mom always had to put her lipstick on in the car. And then once they get in the car, fight the traffic, look for a parking spot and find their way to a seat what really is at stake? How much does it really matter what takes place in the next hour?

I believe that many people are hungry for truth, peace and self-reflection. We all need a safe place where we can come, relax, put our guards down and be molded further into what God wants us to be. I also believe that that is our job as leaders of this church. To help facilitate those events to take place in every service that happens at Northgate. All in a one-hour service, sixty minutes. Can this all happen? The answer is yes.

I have been reading a book called “An Hour on Sunday” by Nancy Beach. And she says this, “The hour on Sunday matters to me because it matters to God. During that hour, people are forming impressions of a faith community—but they are also forming impressions of God. We have an opportunity either to draw them closer to their heavenly father or push them away… That sixty minutes can be a time of wonder, a time of quiet souls, spark deep emotion, and prompt turning points with eternal significance.”

We must become truly excited and seriously look at what happens in a sixty minute service.

How much time for quiet moments, outside of sleeping, does the average person have in our culture? No much, if any. How can we? We have errands to run, bills to pay, jobs that call us to work long hours, kids to take care of, and the list goes on. So when people walk into church, they rarely arrive expecting to be still, to quiet themselves before God. Most people have not had a chance all week long to experience this peace.
When I was in Toronto a couple of weeks ago with my wife and parents we saw this massive Catholic Cathedral. It was very tall and the architecture was breathtaking. From the outside it looked as though the top of the steeple could touch the sun and stood out with such beauty and elegance.

We decided to go in and take a look around. And when we did it was absolutely beautiful. I immediately grabbed my camera and began snapping pictures to take in this awesome sight. But just then a sense of awe came over me. A sense of wonder at what I was viewing, caused me to stop, and quiet myself before God. God was there; I could feel his presence in the viewing the beauty of this church. So I just sat there in a pew and paused for a moment. I then began to think one of the biggest gifts that our church can give to someone is the opportunity to quiet their souls before God. Nancy Beach says it this way, “In a sixty minute service, we have the magnificent opportunity to give attenders an enormous gift—the gift of slowing down, encountering the presence of God, and wrestling with life’s deeper issues.”

They cannot reach such quiet immediately. I believe it is our jobs as the church to lead people their, and then pray that God will do his work.

Let me close with this quote from author Garrison Keillor, “If you can’t go to church and, for at least a moment, be given transcendence…then I can’t see why anyone should go. Just a brief moment of transcendence causes you to come out of church a changed person.”